My Immortal: Commentary Horror
by The Username Found
Summary: My sister and I have decided to do a commentary on the in-famous My Immortal. Tune in as we go through the story with our own thoughts.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author Notes: This is commentary for My Immortal, because how else would you make it passed the second chapter.**_

**TUF: I feel like posting this in my word document might give my computer some sort o disease. *looks over at sister* What do you what your name to be for this? **

_TUF's Sister: That person's kid._

**TUF: Not Ebony's I hope.**

_TUF's Sister: No! No I do not approve of that, that would not be good. Just call me crazy cat lady - No, Unicorn-person - *laughs* Sassy Mango!_

**TUF: … Be serious. I'm giving putting you down as Pons. 'Kay? And to all those whom have stumbled upon it, besides name before comment I shall put my comments in bold and my sister's comments in italics. My Immortal will be in normal non-fancy formatting. **

_Pons: *in a pirate hat* (because they are so fashionable) Let's go!_

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)

_Pons: What is goffik?_

**TUF: I think it is some sort of sickness.**

2 my gf (ew not in that way) _[Pons: She at least thought of it in that way] _raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.

**TUF: Did she give up on you half way through?**

_Pons: She obviously didn't help with the spelling _

**TUF: Thankfully I have you to help with mine. *fixes minor spelling issues of mine* .**

U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)

_Pons: Which one? _

**TUF: It be a hard guess to say, probably involving a dart board… And parents whom were big on middle names or just really really weird…**

_Pons: *suddenly notes Ebony has Dementia in her name* *laughs so hard she has to leave room to use the bathroom*_

**TUF: *Waits patiently, noticing she popped her shoulder from laughed again***

_Pons: *comes back* What I miss *reads over everything, laughs again* Okay lets move on._

with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **[TUF: Really? Impressive since tears are see through.]** and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!)._[Pons: Well I guess I'm out]_ I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **[TUF: And you want to be related to him because he is a 'hottie' why? Eww incest much]**_[Pons: If I find a guy hot, I hope that I'm not related to him, just saying.]_I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and whiteI have pale white skin..**[TUF: No way *sarcastic* vampires are so not pale!] **_[Pons: What you going to do now, sparkle in the sunlight?]_ I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, **[TUF: The over use of white since you have pale skin is to make you sparkle then?] **black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, **[TUF: I hope there is no sun if it is snowing and raining.] **which I was very happy about._ [Pons: Because you're a sparkling fairy princess?]_ A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. **[TUF: Lovely way to make friends.]**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly._ [Pons: Interesting conversation.] _**[TUF: *sarcastically* Because Draco is known for being shy.]**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **[TUF: You have friends? Run Draco Run!] **_[Pons: Run while you have the chance!]_

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **[TUF: Well we did make a commentary, don't cha' know.] **_[Pons: She is asking 'fangz' and not addressing our opinions of the matter] _**[TUF: Clearly.]**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Authors Notes: And back for round two, hope we haven't scared anyone off - or rather bored anyone away. Now onto chapter two of My Immortal and all that it shudder worthiness includes.**_

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **[TUF: NEVER! Oh, and who is 'ma story'?] **_[Pons: *laughs amused*]_

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. _[Pons: I thought she was at Hogwarts not her house.] _It was snowing and raining again.** [TUF: Course it was. So predictable. What season is it even?]** I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **[TUF: It isn't good to have that stuff just lying out like that. What if someone spiked it. Or it had gone bad. Gosh, does no one think of these things?] **My coffin was black ebony_ [Pons: She has a thing for black ebony.]_ and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant _[Pons: Does giant mean troll sized?] _**[TUF: Could be. It might be our first clue of her identity!] **_**[*Pons and TUF high-five*}**_MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. **[TUF: Dress code need not apply.] **I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven_ [Pons: I though Raven was part of her obnoxiously long name]_ dis is u!**[TUF: Raven, I think you should be offended.]**) woke up then and grinned at me.**[TUF: Better that she woke up and grinned than grinned then woke up]** She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes.** [TUF: So how did you know she was actually awake? Grinning with one's eyes closed is very weird.] **_[Pons: *demonstrates*] _**[TUF: Yep, very weird and extremely creepy.] **She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots.** [TUF: Another one whom doesn't follow the dress code. Oh my.]** We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. _[Pons: People talk to each other, it's part of communication.]_

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. _[Pons: You said like less then five words to him.]_**[TUF: And vampires can't blush if they have no blood running through them.]**

"Do you like Draco?"** [TUF: How could you possibly figure that one?]** she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. _[Pons: Is the Slytherin common room / her bedroom connected to the Great Hall?] _**[TUF: Apparently so, besides the fact that Hufflepuff's are closest, but I digress.]**

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **[TUF: NO NEED TO GET DEFENSIVE AND SCREAM!]**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed.**[TUF: Just leave it be. He is better without her.]** Just then, Draco walked up to me. **[TUF: No, Draco run. Save yourself!]**

"Hi." he said. **[TUF: You are going to regret it.]**

"Hi." I replied flirtily. _[Pons: Hi flintily *spell check won't even let it be how it was written* what is that? It reminds me of Flynn Rider.] _

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte _[Pons: Did Good Charlotte become wizards?]_**[TUF: I suppose so if Draco is talking about them.]**_[Pons: No doubt vampires while we are at it.] _are having a concert in Hogsmeade**[TUF: I can just see the people of Hogsmeade. "Who signed us up for this!"]**." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God_[Pons: Apparently she does believe in God.]_!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.** [TUF: No, I couldn't tell.]**

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped. _[Pons: No he was just going to tell you about the concert and leave it at that.]_

_**[TUF: It be the right thing to do in any case.]**_


	3. Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING _[Pons: By flaming does she mean people are sending her videos of them burning her work?] _**[TUF: No, it means that people post bad reviews, well worse, they say dreadful things about you.] **_[Pons: Well that is understandable]_**[TUF: Though they could also be sending her flaming videos of her works] **_[Pons: Laughs.] _

DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik** [TUF:Who are these 'goffik'?]** ppl 4 da good reveiws!**[TUF: I shiver to think who those would be.]** FANGS AGEN RAVEN! _[Pons: 'Fangs Agen Raven' is that another person in the story?] _oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **[TUF: I am so grateful for that. I cannot imagine the movies being like this story. .]**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. **[TUF: You mean lace?] **I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book **[TUF: Because that will make you feel loads better.] **while I waited for it to stop bleeding_ [Pons: The depressing book was bleeding. Is that normal? Did she stab it or something?]_ and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. **[TUF: Why?] **Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. _[Pons: Oh, she realized she doesn't have to put on foundation because she is pale?] _I drank some human blood **[TUF: Where did you get this blood from? I think it may be against school cod-] **_[Pons: You and I both know Slytherins and Gryffindor are above school conduct.] _**[TUF: That is true.] **so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.** [TUF: Wait a dog-gone moment where'd he get that?]** He was wearing a Simple Plan _[Pons: Obviously wizards too.] _t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer_ [Pons: What? When she forget English? She knew it kindof a few seconds ago]_**[TUF: Maybe she had a spaz attack. Or her cat walked over the keyboard.]** it ok!).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. _[Pons: *tries to sound depressed and exclaimed at the same time* NO! That does not work] _**[TUF: Nope, not in the slightest.]**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into **[TUF: That must have hurt.] **his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place **[TUF: You mean Hogsmead?] **with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **[TUF: Well that explains a lot] **_[Pons: Alice in Wonderland (1999 version) makes more sense.] _When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." **[TUF: Always something to tell on your first date] **_[Pons: Must want to be related to this guy too.] _I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice._ [Pons: If Draco knows the band then does she have to point to him.] _**[TUF: No but I am rather confused on there being a club at Hogsmead.]**

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively **[TUF: . Okay?] **and he put his arm around me all protective. _[Pons: Did he see a dragon or something and want to protect her or whatever.] _**[TUF: That or he wants to crush her where she stands.]**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch."**[TUF: For someone whom doesn't know Joel, you care an awful lot.]** I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. _[Pons: I think she was looking at the back of her head.] _**[TUF: That or she became like cousin It. Or Hilary Duff has some weird facial hair.]**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer _[Pons: Should have went with the firewhiskey . Or better yet, Draco could have put poison in her drink.] _and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back **[TUF: Wasted I see.]** into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest! **[TUF: To kill you better with my dear.]**


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su _[Pons: Okay so confused now, now her name is Enoby Nut Mary Su?] _OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! **[TUF: They knew each other for, what, a day? Fast romance. -now have Lady Gaga in my head- ] **dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it.**[TUF: IN mid-air? o.o Did he fall to his death?]** I walked out of it too, curiously. _[Pons: Well she died too then.]_

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked. _[Pons: Oh look her name is back to Ebony.]_

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **[TUF: Well I wouldn't be mad either. I'd be frightened out of my wits.]**

And then... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top** [TUF: PONS COVER YOUR VIRGIN EYES!]**_ [Pons: -covers face with hands-]_ and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. **[TUF: KILL THE SPARE! Kill her now Draco!] **And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was…**[TUF: Dobby? Snape? Roxie from Dead Like Me?] **Dumbledore!

_[Pons: Wow that is the most in-character Dumbledore I have ever read. *sarcastically*]_


	5. Chapter 5

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache _[Pons: Okay I am getting a headache reading this.]_ ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **[TUF: They wouldn't be from me, that's for sure.]**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. _[Pons: If you are crying tears of blood, that is a medical problem. You should probably go to Madam Pomfrey.] _Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. _[Pons: Why__ is McGonagall there?] _**[TUF: To let out some real rage and strange insults.] **

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape. **[TUF: I agree, how dare you!] **

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" _[Pons: After one day and he is saying he loves her? -sigh, laugher- Sounds like some actual teenage romances though] _**[TUF: That never end well though.]**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **[TUF: No, Snape why? Make them do lines or something!] **_[Pons: I'm pretty sure Snape wouldn't just let them go, even if Draco is his favorite student.]_

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. **[TUF: O.O To bed?] **_[Pons: -laughing- W- w-what? I wear sweats or shorts to bed.] _When I came out...

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing "I just wanna live"** [TUF: I don't wanna die I don't wanna die, so your going to have to~ Draco should be singing that song. -laughs- ]** by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly _[Pons: Reluctently is not quite the word. Perhaps, eagerly would be better.] _went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: shjt _[Pons: -rubs the screen where shjt is- Why won't the smudge go away.] _**[TUF: cause it isn't a smudge.] **_[Pons: -Keeps rubbing, stops- Oh.] _up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on **[TUF: Pjs?]** a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted _[Pons: She spray paints her hair in the morning?] _my hair with purple. **[TUF: A spell would have worked better, or not having spray painted it.]**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. **[TUF: Well, that is healthy. I didn't even know Hogwarts served cereal and blood.] **_[Pons: I hope there is some poison or disease in the blood or something] _Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore _[Pons: How did you know he had then in the first place? Did he take off his glasses and put in his contacts?] _**[TUF: I suppose so,] **and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore._ [Pons: Did it vanish?] _**[TUF: Well how did we know it was there to begin with?]** He had a manly stubble _[Pons: Because stubble can be feminine.] _on his chin. He had a sexy English accent.**[TUF: When did he speak?]** He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **[TUF: Doesn't sound like he had gotten that nickname by choice.]**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **[TUF: I see… but not very good nickname.] **_[Pons: And guys don't giggle, they chuckle.] _**[TUF: Well they can, it's just rare like a flying lobster.] **_[Pons: But lobsters don't have wings.]_**[TUF: Ah, well, that is true. But they can be chucked, close enough.]**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered. **[TUF: I don't think he should be intimidated.]**

"Yeah." I roared. _[Pons: -runs around the room roaring- YEAH! YYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!] _

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

_[Pons: !]_


	7. Chapter 7

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws.**[TUF: God reviews?]**_[Pons: I didn't know God reviewed stories.]_ n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons!_ [Pons: What's a god von?]_STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish **[TUF: That sounds weird.] **as we went upstairs. _[Pons: Soooo confused.]_I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco.**[TUF: How you figure that? You said like three words to the guy.]** Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…**[TUF: PONS CLOSE YOU EYES!]**

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra**[TUF: Ouch.]** and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)**[TUF: Very.]**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. **[TUF: His dark mark?] **It was a black heart with an arrow through it. **[TUF: Nope guess not.] **On it in bloody gothic writing were the words... Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. **[TUF: Well apparently you noticed if you commented about it.] **I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. _[Pons: -laughs- I thought that was Dumbledore's catchphrase.]_


	8. Chapter 8

AN: stop flassing **[TUF: Flassing? As in 'flossing between your butt cheeks with random items'. Ew, thanks for the image. ] **_[Pons: Well you're the one who googled it.] _ok! if u do den u r a prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly._ [Pons: -scream, whine with sadness- It's not what you think~ -blinks- Sadly that kinda works. Surprisingly.] _

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly.** [TUF: That works-]**_[Pons: Understatedly?] _**[TUF: Oh, nope never mind that doesn't work. I read it as understandably.] **She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes _[Pons: What is with everyone and doing the smile then open eyes thing.] _**[TUF: A trend.] **_[Pons: I want to try that. -does it-]_**[TUF: Still creepy like the first time you did it.] **like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. _[Pons: Why does-] _**[TUF: Because she has acne?] **_[Pons: Oh, well I suppose.]_

Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) _[Pons: Way to re-write Hermione's history.]_

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.** [TUF: TWENTY POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN.] **_[Pons: More like a hundred.] _**[TUF: A hundred to Snape.] **

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him._ [Pons: I thought she was in a relationship with Draco not Vampire.]_

Everyone gasped. **[TUF: Oh no, the potion fumes everyone out its going to blow! Or people are going to start dropping like flies from the lack of air!]**

**[TUF: Unexpected POV change] **I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. **[TUF: I agree. How dare she assume that Vampire and her choreographed a affair behind your back.] **_[Pons: -laughs-] _**[TUF: I'm not done. -laughs- Behind your back with someone you knew. Someone you may have even loved.] **_[Pons: Obviously it was Yaxley.] _I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. _[Pons: Is that acknowledgment that there are more than just preps and gothic?] _(Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed._ [Pons: Overreacting, she is.] _I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility _[Pons: Virility, what's that?] _**[TUF: -googles-]**_[Pons: Wait! When was she masculine? Oh well, I guess that isn't surprising.]_ to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco._ [Pons: If she could find that tree in the Forbidden Forest. I have to give her props there.] _**[TUF: Any Hufflepuff could find it. They just refuse to.]**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose _[Pons: -pondering- Hmm, I wonder who.]_**[TUF: Let us play Guess Who with Harry Potter characters. -sets up the board- Does your person have a nose?] **_[Pons: Nooo….-flips table- So unfair!] _and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose _[Pons: Well if you look at the last sentence you shall find he had no nose.] _**[TUF: Perhaps it was like a Mr. Potato-head sort of thing, popped his nose on and took it off.] **(basically like Voldemort in the movie)_[Pons: Way to say who it was before you actually say!] _and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic.**[TUF: Obviously. Voldemort isn't hipster.] **_[Pons: And knows better then to get mixed up in that crowd.]_ It was...

Voldemort!** [TUF: No way. Would never have guessed.] **

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!"** [TUF: Well I understand why she yelled Crookshanks. Voldemort, you tease.] **I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom_ [Pons: Crookshanks is my new favorite spell. Crookshanks sure must get around.]_ and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist **[TUF: Sadist like pain though. Unless, you were feeling sickened by the fact Voldemort was all - kittened out. -looks around- Why am I suddenly reminded of Murray and Delores Herbig?] **so I stopped.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **[TUF: Voldemort, thou must study for your Shakespearean play! Thou must sound perfect! PERFECTION!]**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, **[TUF: At a time like this?] **what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? _[Pons: Cause that be the most obvious to assume.] _

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun.** [TUF: Voldemort, there are no guns in Shakespearean plays! Your messing up the script! REHERSE MORE LINES!]** "No! Please!" I begged. _[Pons: It isn't like he emptied the round in your stomach. He just handed you the gun.] _**[TUF: All I got to do is sign the paper. All you got to do is pull the trigger. It's up to you to do what's right.] **

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" **[TUF: He's a creeping.] **_[Pons: Well it's not like the whole school doesn't know by now. So easily someone could have passed the information along.] _**[TUF: Like Draco's dad to Voldemort.]**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look _[Pons: -Shows it off, then laughs- I'd love to see that look on Voldemort's face.]_**[TUF: -amazed- FOUND IT! Even has him with a gun in his hand. Amazing technology we have.] **on his face. "I hath telekinesis."**[TUF: And I hath the finding skills of an amazing finder.] **_[Pons: I lack finding skills. That's why I wasn't put in Hufflepuff. And it is a good thing too.] _he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happento** [TUF: VOLDEMORT I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU! You will never get the lead at this rate.]**Draco!" _[Pons: It is then thou shall know what fate becomes of Draco. Not whatever you said.] _he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **[TUF: No call backs for you Voldemort!]**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" _[Pons: Holy mood changes!] _

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad.** [TUF: I have a feeling their emotions should have been swapped.] **He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled._ [Pons: Hopefully she got expelled.]_

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **[TUF: Because that makes everything better.]**


	10. Chapter 10

_[Pons: Let's go to my room.] _**[TUF: Why? You're room is dark and depressing and we are reviewing a dark and depressing story.] **_[Pons: It isn't my fault my light is burnt out. Besides my Game Cube is there… Well actually it is your Game Cube, but that isn't the point.] _**[TUF: It is if I am typing. About us going to your room, not about the Game Cube. -some time passes with TUF and Pons eating and a change of location-]**

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle _[Pons: She wouldn't have been muggle if she went to Hogwarts.]_ afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses_ [Pons: You can't suddenly change houses, even if you become sparkly vampire princesses.]_ ok! **[TUF: Ignores this entire bit to disgusted with 'Warm Bodies' stuff that shall ruin Zombies like Twilight ruined vampires and werewolves.]**

I was really scared about Vlodemort _[Pons: What is that the Russian Voldemort.] _**[TUF: Vlodemort Russia coming to a city near you. Oh, and *shakes fist at computer* Curse you for wanting to change it to Vladimir when I don't want you to.] **all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. **[TUF: Well that isn't very original. I have a voice crossed between a baby seal and Siberian puppies (not really), but you don't hear me saying anything.] **The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.)**[TUF: Wouldn't his hair be purple streaked cause of the red.] **_[Pons: Red and blue make purple!]_ and Hargrid.**[TUF: A cross between Hagrid and Harry?]** Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists _[Pons: Congratulations on taking your daily dose of potassium. -is talking about her text on sending someone a picture of a banana-] _(he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) **[TUF: Food. Always classy.]** and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.** [TUF: Depressing movie? What did you watch it backwards or something? Made Snape sit through it and have you all write an essay about it? No! Dumbledore wanted a re-enactment didn't he?] **I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. _[Pons: No you're a slut. Cause a whore gets something. Like money. Or something else. Or at least that is my distinction.] _**[TUF: So she has a 50/50 chance of switching titles? Always classy.] **

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' _[Pons: By Nickel Creek?] _**[TUF: Maybe, but I doubt it. I'm presuming by My Chemical Romance.] **_[Pons: Oh. Well, I am glad they aren't covering, I mean, ruining Nickel Creek then.]_ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" **[TUF: Nope, she's having a blood low.] **B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. _[Pons: Concerted?] _**[TUF: -googles-]** _[Pons: Something performed in unison. Well? I don't want to know where the other voice is.] _**[TUF: Maybe in her pocket? That or she is possessed. ]**

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. **[TUF: Ah the choices.]**

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall._[Pons: Wow, where is the random wall coming from? Is there a random wall just chilling out there?] _**[TUF: I can just see the headlines now. "Hogwarts overrun with random walls a chillin'." Or he is a ghost.] **_[Pons: Did Hogwarts or wizards in general have cocaine?] _**[TUF: Uh?] **_[Pons: Because then this whole story might make a bit more sense.]_

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) **[TUF: Yes, slightly. Actually, good for Draco. I'd be freaking out too.] **_[Pons: Can I make a prodiction on how this story ends? I think it ends suddenly like Catcher in the Rye, and has someone die from a cocaine overdoes.]_

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive.**[TUF: Oh way to go Ebony, you broke Draco.]** Then he ran out crying. We practiced for one more hour. _[Pons: On what, crying?]_ Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! **[TUF: He must be super angry if you used an exclamation point.] **His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. _[Pons: I don't think he would be crying wisely in this instance. Maybe if he was a five year old Dumbledore crying to get a unicorn, then I would accept that. He'd know he'd get the toy that way.]_ (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." _[Pons: I thought he could only die by crosses or steaks.] _**[TUF: Perhaps he slit his wrists with steak bones. Steak bones in the shape of crosses.] **_[Pons: Sounds legit.]_

_[Pons: Two minutes later. Did we finish it?] _**[TUF: Yeah.] **_[Pons: Wha? No. Okay.]_


	11. Chapter 11

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **[TUF: Always nice to do to a friend trying to comfort you.]** and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after _[Pons: Why would he be yelling and going after her after Draco died?] _**[TUF: Maybe he thinks she did it? I'm more confused on why he is chasing her when she said she was in her room.] **me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room **[TUF: Uh… Time loops, like a boss.] **cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. **[TUF: Still sounds like a problem you should bring up with a doctor.] **They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. _[Pons: Imagine if she has steak in her hand and she puts it on her chest and dies instantly. Like a nice juicy steak. You know, instant death.] _I was so fucking depressed! **[TUF: Would never have guessed from wanting to commite suicide. I've been in the low of the low, it's not pretty.]** I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. _[Pons: Sandly? How'd that look?] _**[TUF: Her bathroom is very beachy? I don't know. I'm more concerned of the dress getting wet. Then again you don't want to be dead and naked. That is all sorts of embarrassing.] **I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap _[Pons: SNEEEEP! I mean, Snape.] _was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me!** [TUF: Now Snap that isn't very nice don't go on distracting her in the midst of her own doings.]** And Loopin _[Pons: LLLUUUUUPPPPPIIIINN!] _was masticating **[TUF: Lupin was chewing? On what? The tape? A pineapple? His hand? Oh man them werewolf flees.] **to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! _[Pons: Wait what happened to her clothes?]_**[TUF: Maybe they disaperated?] **_[Pons: Clothes can not disapperate! Expecially in Hogwarts.] _ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in. **[TUF: Uh, okay?]**

"Abra Kedavra!" **[TUF: Don't bring pokemon into the spells.]** he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. **[TUF: Harry, I mean, Vampire's a girl now?]** I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times** [TUF: I was unaware that guns had that many bullets. Wait did he even give you bullets. Girly, you are shooting blanks.]**and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore _[Pons: -giggles- Dumblydore.] _ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly...

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk. _[Pons: So where did Hargrid run outside from? And how was he running on his broom? And then he screamed "EVERYONE WE NEED TO TALK!" Or did everyone say we need to talk?]_** [TUF: It is like the center of a tootie pop. The world will never know.]**

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" _[Pons: But he's not little. And he doesn't go to Hogwarts.] _**[TUF: Remember Hargrid is a mix of Harry and Hagrid. Maybe some weird spell stuff went down.]**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. **[TUF: Stay out of this Ebony.]**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. _[Pons: So… Loopin held up the camera with about three elephants? That is what I got.] _"The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **[TUF: Good to know?]**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **[TUF: A clook? He has a clock? Or was he rubbing his hands on his cloak? And how did his hands get dirty? From killing all them bad flees? Did he fix a carborator when we weren't looking?]**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. _[Pons: Such extreme different emotions.] _

"BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. _[Pons: So she's heard, 'because' from other people before? Not surprising.] _**[TUF: Ah yeah.]**

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!" **[TUF: Well. Okay then.]**

_[Pons: SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE WHOM FIND US FUNNY!]_

_**[TUF: YOU ALL ROCK!]**_

_[Pons: YYYEEEAAAHH!]_


	12. Chapter 12

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **[TUF: Whatever you say.]**

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. **[TUF: He did? Must have missed it.]** He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid _[Pons: Hair grid as in "There's hair in my grid?"]_ but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **[TUF: Intro of whiteness and redness and blackness. Bless your face.] **_[Pons: His whites are red? Did he wash his whites with his reds? He should learn how to use a washing machine better.}_

I stopped. "How did u know?" _[Pons: I guessed.]_

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort _[Pons: Wolf form of Voldemort.] _**[TUF: In the midst of this pokemon battle, Voldemort has transformed into his wolf form.] **has him bondage!" **[TUF: Ew that doesn't sound pleasent.]**

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID **[TUF: Hagrid has a lot of siblings.] **were there too. They were going to St. Mango's _[Pons: St. Mango's? Like the patron saint of fruit? Or is it just mangos?] _after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera **[TUF: Sounds painful if he constipated a camera. What did they do? Shove it up his butt? "You will never get the evidence, Camera constipadio!"] **they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious** [TUF: V. Serious, Sirius's unknown sister Violet or Vivian or Veronica.] **voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, _[Pons: But you were wearing it at one point.]_ and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik. **[TUF: They why was he in the band.]**

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses." _[Pons: They are your Hunger Games token!]_

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily.

"No you didn't I replied."

"You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.** [TUF: Uh… Seems you two are having a moment, I'll let you two be alone.]**

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! _[Pons: What? We are in the hunger games now.]_ specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!" **[TUF: What? What the bloody hell is that mean?]**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. **[TUF: Sorta cool, I guess.]** And it was black. _[Pons: You don't say.] _Now I knew he wasn't a prep. **[TUF: If only it was that simple.]**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?" **[TUF: Oh Dumbledore going all sage on us in the midst of badly written words.] **_[Pons: I hope he never speaks like that again. I was much more content with his angry yelling MotherF-ers going on.]_

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF **[TUF: Hufflepuff's never lose themselves to begin with… *slightly offended by Hargrid/Sedric whatever this crazy cat may be.* I'm a good Hufflepuff finder.]** OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back._ [Pons: Like Motherf-er?]_

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!" **[TUF: And you're a wizard Harry.]**

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on **[TUF: * Begins skimming *…] **a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara_ [Pons: SAMARA!]_ from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai **[TUF: It's KAWAII! And not the look, but just that's the spelling. . I didn't learn some Japanese to have it misspelled!]**, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on **[TUF: Yep, cause no one notices you with sunglasses.]** so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. **[TUF: About time.] **Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. **[TUF: Poor random creature having Vampire all up in it's hair.] **_[Pons: Still laughing over the 'Hair of Magical __Magic__ Creatures.]' _He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **[TUF: Poor Hufflepuff.] **_[Pons: Poor Hufflepuff. They are useless anyway. *feels glare from TUF* I'M JOKING!]_

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. _[Pons: Notice that everyone is depressed, depressed, sad, sad, all the time. Everyone is forlorn, though it isn't ever used and they misspell it no doubt if they did use it.]_ "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then... we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. **[TUF: Always classy.] **

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle _[Pons: They should listen to McGoggle whom I'm presuming is McGonagall.] _**[TUF: Or McDougle by spell checks standards.] **who was watching us and so was everyone else. _[Pons: Wait, they were in class?] _**[TUF: Yep. And in the Hair of a magical magic creature.] **_[Pons: I've seen some extreme PDA but this is a little extreme.] _

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. _[Pons: Well you went along with it.]_ You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" **[TUF: Because that is a way to mess with someone's head. Ba-boosh. XD] **and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. _[Pons: He really has to learn how to wash his clothes.] [_**TUF: Again. Intro of whiteness and redness and blackness. Bless your face. *YouTube TobyGames to understand referance*]**

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **[TUF: I THOUGHT WE WENT OVER THIS BEFORE! Extreme da-ja-vu!] **

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort _[Pons: Voldemort's wolf form.]_ has him bondage!" **[TUF: As we knew from the start of the chapter.]**

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I**[TUF: Um right.] **_[Pons: Don't give it to her.]_


	13. Chapter 13

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!_ [Pons: I WISH I COULD SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE OR READ IT AT LEAST!] _**[TUF: I stopped trying, my eyes burn if I try.]**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore! _[Pons: You ruined a perfect streak.] _**[TUF: Well they are saying it so, I'll let it slide. Just this once.] **_[Pons: I suppose. I would say Dumblydore myself.] _" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?** [TUF: Interesting insult.]**" he asked angrily.

"Volsemort _[Pons: Norwegian Viking form!] _**[TUF: Collect ALL the FORMS!] **has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.** [TUF: Dumbledore evil? *Laughs evily* I like.] **

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. **[TUF: Liking a little less. Can't be mean now.] **_[Pons: He can be mean to her.]_"I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." **[TUF: You're headmaster, you are suppose to internalize those feelings.]** then he walked away.

Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. _[Pons: You all really need to see a doctor about your eyes.]_

Then he had a brainstorm. "I had **[TUF: Not has?] **an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then... suddenly we were in Voldemprt's _[Pons: Voldemort's swine name?] _lair! **[TUF: No one but Dumbledore can disaperate or suddenly get outside of Hogwarts besides walking.] **

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra" **[TUF: Sounds like a song. Everybody dance!] **_[Pons: Allah's last name is Kedavra?] _**[TUF: Oh right. Everyone bow!] **

It was... Voldemort! _[Pons: Voldemort in Voldemort form.] _


	14. Chapter 14

_[Pons: In my great quest in all the forms of Voldemort. I have found five.] _**[TUF: I want to be the very best. Like no one ever was. To catch them is my real test. To train them is my cause! ] **_[Pons: Hey! We're not training Voldemort.] _**[TUF: Oh, okay. -guitar solo's in the back singing- GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL! C:] **_[Pons: Okay well anyways, we got these five rare Voldemorts: Voldemort - form Voldemort, Voldemprt - Swine form?, Volsemort - form Norwegian Viking, Volfemort - Wolf form, and my personal favorite Vlodemort -his Russian form.]_

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! _[Pons: Well…] _**[TUF: Nice that you informed us you shall be 'nut updating' with lack of refuse. Poor squirrels.] **

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. _[Pons: You mean she's only now advising us!] _**[TUF: I suppose so. -reads ahead- Oh look another Voldemort form ahead in the grass.] **

We ran to where Volcemort _[Pons: Up to six. Electric form!] _was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snake tail **[TUF: Peter has a snake form now? Oh no.] **_[Pons: Use to have a rat tail. Not sure what happened.] _**[TUF: A snake happened.]** was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun **[TUF: Let's just be done with the wands all together. Much easier to save a possible rebound.] **_[Pons: Wizards would never use wands anyway. What are you talking about.] _**[TUF: Silly stick fights. Poke someone's eye out they did.] **_[Pons: Seriously, who uses wands now-a-days? It's all about the guns.] _**[TUF: And the limited ammo.]**he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. _[Pons: Oh so now he's in love with you too.] _**[TUF: At least Voldemort seems to resist. It must be the lack of nose thing.] **_[Pons: That or he is already in love with his multiple forms Or Shakespeare gives him the power to resist.] _**[TUF: It must be that. Those plays be pretty taxing.] **"." **[TUF: He says either 'period' or silence. Since a period would be awkward at this time lets turn to silence.] **he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs oldso hes not a pedofile ok)**[TUF: That is stretching it a bit far. Unless he got into some bell jar stuffs.]**

"Huh?" I asked.

"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. _[Pons: She does simile. I'm surprised.] _**[TUF: I'm more surprised she laughed, turned him down, and killed him. So happy this didn't turn into a weird orgy with all the Death Eaters running around without socks.] **

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. _[Pons: She wouldn't last five minutes in the Hunger Games.] _**[TUF: Kill somebody, cry, gets killed, end of story.]**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" **[TUF: He's getting murdered, my Dark Shakespearian Lord.] **called Voldemort._ [Pons: Still practicing for that play?]_ Then... he started coming! We could hear his high heels **[TUF: What on Earth part did you get for that play?]** clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. _[Pons: 'Cause it was that simple.] _We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. **[TUF: Because he shouldn't head off to the hospital wing for being tortured by rehearsing lines of the Shakespearian kind. And whatever else was done. Nope, sex fixes everything apparently. ] **He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what **[TUF: No I don't. Was it a tattoo? Did he get another one. Or perhaps a radical new long scar.]**_ [Pons: It was a huge tattoo of Voldemort.]_and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. _[Pons: Yielded? What?] _"Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." **[TUF: What? There are a billion other reasons for crying. And that is - that is just stupid.] **

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." _[Pons: Yes, but on the first date you two-] _**[TUF: I know, what you mean.] **answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan **[TUF: Yes because he has such a hand in those affairs.]** have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" **[TUF: Well if it is a curse like you say, perhaps he did have such a hand in this. WHAT DID YOU DO!] **I shouted and then I ran away. _[Pons: Run away and stay away now.]_


End file.
